Module one - who am I?

To develop self-awareness and personal insight by exploring identity, intelligence, self-perception, and social influence. Participants will begin to understand how past experiences and external perceptions have shaped their self-concept and sense of agency.

By the end of this module, participants will be able to:

1. Describe key aspects of their identity, including values/goals, strengths, and roles.

2. Explain how early experiences and social environments shape self-concept.

3. Identify sources of toxic shame and recognise their influence on self-perception.

4. Reflect on their personal definition of intelligence and how it affects motivation.

5. Engage in constructive discussion about self-knowledge, feedback, and personal growth.

Core themes: Self-concept; the social construction of identity; adaptation as intelligence.

Activities:

• Icebreaker: “Who am I?” exercise – participants respond spontaneously to the question, discuss patterns in their answers, and reflect on what it reveals about their self-view.

• Mini lecture/discussion: Redefining intelligence — moving beyond academic metrics to adaptive intelligence and problem-solving (drawing on Sternberg’s Triarchic Theory).

• Group discussion: Participants’ identity in each area of life (e.g., work, leisure, home, finance) exploring how effective their current identity is in enabling their goals and aspirations in those areas, with attention to gendered issues (e.g., protect, provide, preside framework).

Facilitator notes: Emphasise that “intelligence” includes resilience, creativity, and adaptability. Reframe previous negative schooling experiences as context rather than identity.

Core themes: The role of social feedback in shaping self-image; internalised shame and its sources.

Activities:

• Facilitator input: Introduce the concept of the Looking Glass Self (Cooley, 1902) — rebranded as “The Mirror Effect.” Explain how others’ perceptions, especially from parents and teachers, shape self-beliefs.

• Discussion: Common sources of shame and negative self-image; especially from experiences at school. Explore how these messages persist into adulthood.

• Group reflection: The concept of “Nice Guy Syndrome” — behavioural symptoms and emotional consequences.

• Homework task: Johari Window activity — each participant asks 2–3 trusted people (spouse, parents, friend, co-workers) to describe them honestly.

Core themes: Feedback, blind spots, and interpersonal openness.

Activities:

• Review homework: Share and discuss feedback from Johari Window exercise.

• Mini workshop: Identifying “blind spots” — what others see that we don’t.

• Group dialogue: How shame, secrecy, and silence maintain these blind spots; the benefits of openness and shared experience, particularly among men.

Core themes: Conformity, social influence, and personal responsibility.

Activities:

• Discussion: What are your current roles and responsibilities? When do you avoid responsibility? Why?

• Mini lecture: The “river” metaphor — people drifting with social currents. Introduce the analogy of the fish in water to explain how cultural norms and peer influence shape identity unconsciously.

• Reflection exercise: Identify key influences (friends, family, media, culture) and evaluate whether they align with personal goals.

• Activity: Personal “influence map” — charting positive and negative forces acting on one’s identity.

Activities:

• Discussion: What are your current roles and responsibilities? When do you avoid responsibility? Why?

• Mini lecture: The “river” metaphor — people drifting with social currents. Introduce the analogy of the fish in water to explain how cultural norms and peer influence shape identity unconsciously.

• Reflection exercise: Identify key influences (friends, family, media, culture) and evaluate whether they align with personal goals.

• Activity: Personal “influence map” — charting positive and negative forces acting on one’s identity.